PARIWARA

Today, its like quoting my DEPRESSION NOTES OUT HERE. I thought Ill not do it,Ill never do it - but let me write some of it here - it might help me not to break out when I take the first step outside my room. I am not sure what I am writing exactly. My basic depression notes, I have thousands - Ill have to write somewhere now - Ill do. Its just I cant say whats it PUBLICLY. I am not even extrovert enough to "speak" things to ANYONE around. Truth is - I am not finding my SINGLE SPACE TO BREAK right now. I dont know if Im making a big issue of it, but my senses say that whatevers going on is not a good sign. So, its like I dont have one of my biggest strengths there for me - itll be dramatic if I write more - and Ill not mention any incident - I cannot. Its just, Ill not be able to blog for a few days, I guess. I want complete silence for a day or two. No social networks, no blogging. I know some blog with political propaganda does not have posts like this - but I dont know. I dont know what this world is and I dont know if I am alright enough to adjust with it all and I dont know if Ill be able to study for an undefined period and I dont know if I have the rights left to share things and I think I feel like all my strength has been taken out of me and may be I am going psychic and I want this much back -things I have cared about, people Ive cared about - far more than they actually know. Feeling like I am sitting out, cold at night with no light and a starless sky.